Witness

I witnessed a facebook friend get excoriated yesterday for her devotion to variety.

Perhaps it's not so simple as that; still, the criticism was petty, mean-spirited, and unnecessary.

She posts photos of herself in a multitude of outfits - costumes, really - invariably with a smile or grin. It turns out that she is also beautiful. So a small-minded person close to her inner circle took umbrage.

Why?

Her fiance is quite ill, and the critic is this man's sister. Sister intimated that friend was devoting too much time to facebook self-aggrandizement and narcissism, and insufficient time to care for fiance/ brother.

Which he refuted. Friend was defended, by just a few, sister was defended by one (he later withdrew his comment), and in the end, fiance came on scene and with a few choice words, told sister to butt-outski.

Obviously, the pain and fear of loss create tremendous stress. Why has it become so prevalent to witness people react with outrage and criticism before finding out the situation?  With this outburst, sister appears to have harbored enmity against friend for some time. But shouldn't adults be able to question, and discuss, and even agree to disagree, without publicly attempting to humiliate (only to have it backfire)?

Here is a man stricken with cancer, undergoing significant medical procedures, who greatly enjoys his lovely love's devotion to variety, to exploration, to beauty - he is entitled to focus his strength on recovery, and on celebration of life and love - which is what his fiance does; not have to address and waste time dealing with pettiness no matter how 'well-intentioned' (if it was that.)

I am fortunate to witness their friends support of them. We should all be so lucky, when the chips are down, to have friends that want to fill our days with joy, love, and support.